Ringer
by jackwabbit
Summary: A Night Out Ends Badly For Jack, But Well For Everyone Else.  TEAM FIC.  Mild DanielJanet.  Ringer:one that enters a competition under false representations.


**Ringer**

Rated: PG

Category: Humor, mild Daniel/Janet, Team.

Season: Seven-ish

Spoilers: None

Summary: A Night Out Ends Badly For Jack, but well for everyone else.

---

The three men and one woman of the SGC's premier team walked briskly down the hallway toward the locker rooms after a debriefing with General Hammond.

There was an argument in progress.

"Oh, come on, sir. It'll be fun."

Jack O'Neill snarled. "No, Carter. Fun would be a hot shower and some sleep. Not a loud bar on a Saturday night."

Samantha Carter made a face and turned away from her CO with a huff and a flick of blonde hair. She crossed her arms and very nearly pouted. "Fine. Have it your way."

At her petulant tone, Daniel could no longer keep silent. He couldn't resist ribbing Jack.

"I don't know, Jack. I'd go. I'm pretty hungry. They've got good food there. You might like it."

Jack threw his hands up in the air in exasperation and heaved a huge sigh before addressing the archeologist. "Daniel, what part of we just came back through the gate after a three day hike through hell do you not understand?"

Now it was Teal'c's turn to enter the conversation. His deep voice boomed out from behind his three teammates.

"I do not believe that P9X-801 is anywhere in the vicinity of Netu, O'Neill."

Both Daniel and Sam stifled laughs, but couldn't suppress grins at the Jaffa's words.

Jack stopped in his tracks, and the rest of the group followed suit. O'Neill turned his head to give Teal'c a sideways glare over his shoulder. His face was incredulous. It was a moment before he spoke. The raised eyebrow and slight smirk on the big man's face was infuriatingly stoic as everyone waited for O'Neill's response.

"Et tu, Teal'c?"

At these three simple words, Daniel Jackson lost it.

He laughed out loud like a hyena.

It was only a second before Major Carter joined him.

All sense of military decorum was lost as even the Colonel joined in.

A flash of confusion zipped across Teal'c's face at the behavior of his friends, but the merriment was contagious and soon even he was laughing.

A few passing airmen cast curious looks at the quartet, wondering what was so funny, but the group didn't notice.

It was several minutes before the laughter stopped.

Colonel O'Neill had tears in his eyes when he spoke again. It had been a long time since he'd laughed so hard, and he'd enjoyed it. He found his attitude about continuing in the presence of this group of people had changed. He no longer wanted a quiet evening at home.

"Alright, fine. I'll go."

Daniel and Sam were still winding down their giggles, but at Jack's words they both composed themselves. Sam nodded once and addressed her CO.

"Good."

Teal'c regarded his friends for a moment as they began to walk toward the showers again.

As they reached the locker rooms, he spoke again.

"I believe I shall accompany you on this outing, as well."

Jack shrugged. "Why not? The more the merrier."

XXX

Twenty minutes later, four teammates (three of whom had damp hair and all of whom smelled of soap) met at the entrance to the mountain. As they tried to decide whether to carpool or take four vehicles, another person joined their little group.

Doctor Janet Fraiser looked tired.

She was just finishing an emergency weekend call and heading home for the night.

As she came upon SG-1, she paused, noticing their conversation.

"Hi, guys."

Sam turned and smiled brilliantly at her friend. "Hey, Janet. Where you off to?"

Janet sighed. "Home. It's been a long night."

Sam nodded, as the men of her team continued to argue economics versus independence in the car arena. Jack wanted to take his truck, but Daniel said his sedan made much more sense. Sam wasn't really listening and frankly didn't care what was decided, so she continued to talk with Janet. Teal'c just leaned on the wall and watched the entire scene with a smirk.

"I understand that."

Janet sighed again before speaking. "Didn't you guys just get back tonight? Shouldn't you be going home, too? What's going on, anyway?"

Sam smiled a rather suspicious looking grin and leaned in close to Janet.

"Well, yes, we did just get back, and truth be told I am a little tired, but Daniel and I had a bet with ourselves that we could get the Colonel to go out tonight, and we didn't want to lose. We convinced him, finally, to get a bite to eat over at The Point."

"The Point?"

"The Point After. Sports bar across town. Great little place. Daniel and I found it one night late. It was the only place open, and we were starving."

"Huh."

"Why don't you come with us?"

Janet seemed to mull the question over for only a moment before shrugging casually. "Sure. Why not? I don't feel like cooking anything, and Cassie's at a friend's this weekend, so might as well stop off for dinner. I was going to pick something up anyway."

Sam grinned. "Cool. Just don't tell the Colonel what I said."

Janet grinned back. "Wouldn't dream of it."

XXX

It took another five minutes to actually leave the mountain, in five separate cars (it was just easier that way), and another twenty-five minutes to reach the bar.

Jack O'Neill looked around appraisingly as he entered and nodded to himself. He'd been worried that Sam and Daniel had picked some upscale, frilly place, but his fears were laid to rest as he took in the pool tables in the back room, the booths and tables all around the perimeter of the billiard equipment, and the front room full of televisions and tables overflowing with customers.

The quintet soon found a large table near the pool tables and were immediately handed menus by a waitress. They placed their drink orders, and the young woman scampered off to fill them. Jack noted with mild trepidation that she didn't write the orders down.

The waitress returned a few moments later with the drinks.

She expertly set the two waters, the Diet Coke, the cranberry juice, and the Guinness down in front of their correct recipients without missing a beat.

Jack made a mental note that this girl was good as she began collecting food orders.

XXX

Appetizers came ten minutes later. Hot wings and cheese sticks were devoured in between jokes and stories and careful talks about work. Laughter bubbled up from the table almost continuously, and smiles reached every set of eyes present. It seemed like no wait at all until dinner was served.

Jack ordered another beer when his food came, and noted with approval that everyone had abstained from the healthy choices on the menu.

He and Sam were plowing into gigantic cheeseburgers while Janet gulped down fried chicken and Teal'c and Daniel shared a huge order of ribs.

Daniel had been right. The place had a full kitchen, and they made some good food.

Conversation lulled as the friends ate.

They were hungry.

Still, Jack couldn't help but notice that while he appeared to have eaten about twice as many ribs as Daniel, Teal'c didn't have a drop of barbeque sauce anywhere on his person.

This was made more noticeable by its sharp contrast to Daniel.

Daniel had sauce everywhere.

The usually neat archeologist had sauce on both hands and covering half his face. There were drips on his tee-shirt, and even a dab in his hair.

Jack tried to keep the smile off his face as he watched the mess multiply with each rib Daniel consumed, but he lost that battle miserably. The combination of little kid glee at a favorite food and the extreme difference from Daniel's usual demeanor and appearance were too much to be denied. Jack grinned openly. He caught Carter's eye across the table and that's when her giggling started.

No one but Janet heard the giggling and the mumbled 'Carter' from Jack that tried to stop it, but as she looked up to see what was so funny, she began to titter, too.

It couldn't be helped.

Teal'c appeared to be as completely, albeit more neatly, absorbed in his meal as Daniel, so he ate on, oblivious to the others at the table.

As more and more sauce splattered, two pairs of brown eyes and one set of blue ones kept casting glances to one another and then to Daniel. Food was eaten in small bites in between stifled laughs.

Janet Fraiser, Samantha Carter, and Jack O'Neill were having a very private, wordless conversation and being wholly entertained by it at Daniel's expense.

Finally, when a large glob of sauce hit Daniel's lap, Jack couldn't take it anymore.

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Daniel, use a napkin already!"

Daniel looked up, in mid-chew. He seemed to remember his companions suddenly. A nervous grin slid over his face and he laughed a little nervous laugh.

"Um…sorry…guess I'm a bit of a mess, huh?"

Jack snorted. "Ya think?"

Sam nodded. "A bit."

Janet just laughed.

Teal'c inclined his head slightly and seemed truly puzzled by Daniel's appearance but said nothing.

Janet continued to laugh.

Finally, Daniel excused himself.

"Um…I'm just going to go clean up a bit then."

Jack waved the younger man away from the table and the others nodded.

XXX

When Daniel returned, the plates had been cleared. Jack had changed over from beer to some sort of soda, and conversation was returning to the little group.

Daniel sat back down, much cleaner but still bearing traces of his meal, and spoke almost at once.

"Hey, you'll never guess what they have in the hallway back there."

The group looked at him expectantly.

"A Ms. Pac Man machine."

Carter squeaked. She sat bolt upright and exclaimed, "REALLY?"

Daniel grinned. He had expected Sam's reaction. In fact, he'd counted on it. That was why he'd mentioned the game at all. He knew Sam loved it.

She was good at it, too. Daniel had seen her play for what seemed like hours on one life.

What Daniel hadn't expected was Jack's reaction. It was more subdued than Carter's, but no less interested. Jack's eyes grew calculating as he asked the same question. "Yeah, really?"

Daniel nodded. "Yep. It's working, too."

Jack smiled. "You don't say. Well, I might have to go have a play. I used to be pretty good at the old Pac Man."

Carter spoke up now. "It's Ms. Pac Man, sir. There's a difference."

Jack nodded. "And thank God for that. Everyone knows Ms. is a better game."

Carter's blue eyes met Jack's brown ones then and held them. An unspoken challenge was issued, and everyone present knew it. Jack's eyebrows lifted slightly, and Sam's answered in kind.

It was a long moment before anyone spoke.

Finally, Jack broke the silence.

"Bet I can beat ya."

Sam's eyebrows hit the roof.

"Care to wager on that, sir?"

"Absolutely. Twenty bucks to the winner."

"You're on."

The table was still for another half second. Then Jack and Sam both stood and nearly ran for the hallway in question.

The three friends remaining at the table shared an amused look for a second, then Teal'c spoke.

"Daniel Jackson. Janet Fraiser. I believe I shall take my leave at this time."

Daniel began to protest. "You sure, Teal'c? You don't want to play some pool or something? I know you're getting pretty good."

"My proficiency at billiards notwithstanding, Daniel Jackson, I must depart. I have agreed to meet Sergeant Siler very early tomorrow morning for a workout, and I wish to be well rested."

"Ok, then. See you later."

"Good night, Daniel Jackson. Good night, Doctor Fraiser."

Janet stood and gave the big Jaffa a half hug. "Night, Teal'c. Drive safe."

Teal'c nodded to the small woman and turned. His large frame disappeared out the door of the bar seconds later.

Janet looked at Daniel, and he shrugged.

"Well, I guess it's just us, then. You want to head home?"

Janet shrugged back. "Oh, I don't know. I'm not as tired as I was. There's an empty table over there. Wanna play some pool?"

"Sure. Why not?"

Janet grabbed cues from the community rack and began to chalk them while Daniel claimed the vacant table and began to rack the balls.

As Janet rejoined him, Daniel muttered under his breath.

"So, think Teal'c's off to play Dungeons and Dragons?"

Janet smirked. "Yep."

Daniel snorted a small laugh. "Yeah, if he hadn't mentioned Siler, I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, but…"

Janet laughed back. "Exactly. The battles between Siler of the Tau'ri and Teal'c of Chulak are legendary, and it IS Saturday night." As she spoke, the petite doctor used a pretend sports announcer voice and used her hands to put air quotes around her description of the imaginary battles.

Daniel burst out laughing. Janet's mock announcing was so similar to snippets of whispered conversations he'd heard in the hallways on Monday mornings for years that he couldn't help it. He still couldn't believe Teal'c had fallen into the sizable SGC D&D crowd years ago, and he often wondered if the Jaffa knew that it was no secret, despite his attempts to keep it quiet.

As Janet handed a freshly-chalked cue to Daniel, he nodded in the direction of the bathrooms and spoke through his laughter.

"So, you think we'll see those two anytime soon?"

Janet snorted. "You kidding? I wouldn't be surprised if we don't see them 'til Monday."

Daniel laughed again-it was a beautiful sound. "No doubt. Here, you break."

Janet nodded and expertly shot the cue ball into the triangle of colored balls at the other end of the table. She sunk the nine ball and called out her side. "Stripes."

As she lined up her next shot, Fraiser paused and chewed the inside of her lip for a moment.

Daniel noticed.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing, really…I just wonder if the Colonel knows."

"Knows what?"

Janet looked at Daniel with a measured gaze for a moment before answering. When she did, she slid right up next to Daniel and whispered into his ear. He didn't mind.

"You ever been in Sam's basement, Daniel?"

Daniel's brow furrowed. "Um…no…why?"

"So you don't know what's down there?"

Daniel began to get a little worried. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear this, but Janet pushed on anyway.

"Well, don't tell the Colonel, but Sam's got a Ms. Pac Man machine. She plays it all the time."

Daniel's eyes grew wide. "Really?"

Janet nodded. "Uh-huh. A few others, too, but that one's her favorite."

"And Jack doesn't know?"

The physician shrugged. "Don't know, but somehow I doubt it. Took me forever to find out. Sam thinks people will think it's silly that she plays such old games, and she's a very private person, especially around the Colonel."

Daniel nodded absently as an evil grin spread over his face. He laughed a bit to himself.

"What?" queried Janet.

Daniel's grin grew. "Nothing. It's just…you think she'll let him make a game of it?"

Janet laughed then, too. Hers was a full body laugh. One that was heard far too rarely from the small doctor. Once she could speak, she shook her head.

"Not a chance."

XXX

Despite their earlier fatigue, Daniel and Janet played pool until the bar closed.

They laughed and talked and bumped into each other entirely more than was necessary and frankly played very little pool, but they had a well-deserved good time.

As they picked up their things to head home, two familiar faces emerged from the back hall of the now essentially empty bar.

Nothing was said about who won the majority of the games of Ms. Pac Man played, but Sam's smug little grin said more than enough. When it was coupled with Jack's grumpy grimace, there could be no doubt that the Major had defeated the Colonel.

The doctor and the archeologist exchanged triumphant but secretive grins.

Outside the bar, four vehicles waited for the four friends. Janet and Daniel explained that Teal'c had gone home hours ago, and then everyone said their goodnights.

Jack grunted his first. "Night, Doc. Later, Daniel. See you Monday, Carter."

The last greeting was more of a snarl. Sam sweetly smiled back and waved at Jack and the others as she got into her car.

"Wouldn't miss it, sir. Night, guys."

The answering sneer and tire screech that was Jack's response caused both Daniel and Janet to lose their battle with laughter. They hung on to each other in a fit of near hysterics as Jack's truck and Sam's car left the parking lot.

When Daniel could speak, he gasped out a slightly sympathetic response to Jack's night.

"Poor guy. He probably never knew what hit him."

Janet nodded, still giggling. "Serves him right, though."

Daniel nodded back. "No arguments here."

The two friends shared a slightly longer than usual hug then, and both went home for the night, thinking of the justified ego deflation of one Jack O'Neill that was the icing on the cake of a wonderful evening.

XXX

Every member of SG-1 would dream that night.

So would their doctor.

Teal'c, when he finally slept, would dream of warlocks and dragons.

Jack O'Neill would be plagued by little yellow dots and flashing blue ghosts.

Samantha Carter would see herself sitting at the briefing table counting out crisp twenty dollar bills with a self-satisfied grin on her face.

Daniel Jackson would imagine solar systems made of billiard balls.

And Janet Fraiser would wake the next day thinking of barbeque sauce.


End file.
